How a chronic illness affects my fashion job

Living with endometriosis has exposed a paradox at the heart of the industry.

By Madeleine Rothery

Walking to an interview with a designer last September, I was stopped in my tracks by an intense stabbing pain in my pelvis. By the time I arrived at the studio, I was drenched in sweat, shaking, with all my words swallowed by pain – an endometriosis flare-up was coming on. And this was only day one of Paris Fashion Week. I cried the whole taxi ride home knowing that both myself and my dreams for a fruitful week of work would have to be put to bed as endometriosis dug its ugly claws deeper into my pelvis.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in 2022 after 17 years of suffering and medical gaslighting (“periods are meant to be painful”, “it’s all in your head”, “you’re just stressed”). It’s a strange disease, in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus infiltrates and binds other organs. Commonly misunderstood as only affecting reproductive organs, I’ve known it – both personally and through others’ stories – to grow over the kidneys, bladder, bowels, diaphragm, brain, heart, eyes, and lungs. The result is messy knots of (too often chronic) pain that freeze normal movement, impair organ functioning, normalise chronic fatigue, and fuel constant mental anguish. The cause is still not known and, for now, the only definite treatment is surgery (often multiple rounds). There is no cure.

Though it’s estimated that one in nine people assigned female at birth live with endometriosis, I suspect the number is a lot higher – current figures are obscured by the obscene wait times to see specialists